


Scratch and Sniff

by BlueCastiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, M/M, My First Fanfic, kinda Dean Smith, pure fluff, so dont be too cruel please
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-14
Updated: 2015-03-14
Packaged: 2018-03-17 19:58:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3541994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueCastiel/pseuds/BlueCastiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"An au where Cas online shops weird stuff and Dean is the operator of the store's phone line who always gets to handle Cas' weird questions" -perdizzion on Twitter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scratch and Sniff

“Hello, this is Dean speaking from The Citrus Online Catalog, how can I help you?” The words had glued themselves to Dean’s throat after speaking them at least three hundred times a day for the last year. It wasn’t a terrible job, the benefits were pretty great, but it was repetitious.

“Hello, I was looking at your honey bee shaped tea coasters and do they really come with the small eyes? Are those painted or glued?”

Dean cringed at the gravelly voice, wondering how the guy managed to speak without tearing up his throat. Then he registered what the man had said. “The bee shaped coasters? Can you tell me what company they are?”

“Yes, Kez Designs. They’re the ones with the small stingers.”

“Right…” Dean scrolled through the computer’s listing until he reached the coasters and squinted at the picture. “I don’t see why they would be glued on, they look painted.”

“Well, yes, it looks that way, but what if they’re not?” Dean was used to overly dramatic callers, but this had to be one of the worst.

He scratched at his neck and read through the materials used. “They’re painted and yeah they come with it. Does that answer all your questions?”

“What degree can they withstand before the paint rubs away?”

“How hot do you drink your tea?” Dean muttered under his breath, not intending for the caller to hear. Things rarely worked in Dean’s favor though.

“I suppose normal temperature, will that be cool enough?”

Dean had never drank more than a sip of tea in his life and the product didn’t specify exactly what temperature it could handle. “We have a full return policy, but I think it’s going to be fine.”

“Alright.” He sounded unconvinced, but at least that was the end of the weird questions.

 

It was only one week later that Dean answered to the same grating voice, this time asking about hamburger shaped pillows. “Is the second green part pickles because it can’t have two lettuce parts, can it?”

“No, I think it’s pickles.” Dean lied straight through his teeth. What difference did it make if it was lettuce or pickles? These weren’t the kind of pillows bought for decoration. “Hey, weren’t you the same guy who called about the bee tea coasters?”

“Yes, you remember that?”

Dean chuckled. “Yeah, it was one of the more peculiar calls I’ve gotten.”

“I see…”

“Did you decide to order them?”

“I did. They’re estimated arrival date is tomorrow. I look forward to seeing them.”

“Yeah, those will be something. Was that it for the pillows?”

There was a pause. “My sister told me this was a stupid question, but… are they scratch and sniff?”

“What?”

“If you scratch the pillows will they smell like hamburgers?”

Dean laughed into his hand, moving the phone away from his face so the caller wouldn’t hear. Charlie leaned around the cubicle wall between them. “Are you dying?”

“Go back to your fan fiction,” he replied. The last thing Charlie would do at work was work- unless the boss came by.

He raised the phone back to his ear. “Sorry man, no, I don’t think they are. That would be awesome though."

There was a small sigh. “I suppose it was unlikely.”

“Yeah- what would you do with a scratch and sniff hamburger pillow anyways?” Maybe he had a weird hamburger kink (hm, Dean should look into if that was a real thing), but what were the chances?

“I volunteer at a Children’s hospital on the weekends, I’m sure some of the children there would be interested in such a pillow.”

His response left Dean floored- not a kink then. “Really? That’s great, man. Let me find you some coupons.”

He brought up a few different codes for items he thought Castiel and the children at the hospital would enjoy and conveyed them to the caller.

“Thank you, that is very kind of you.”

“It’s n-no problem.” His cheeks felt embarrassingly warm. “I hope they like the pillows.” He hung up his phone and planted his forehead on his desk, he couldn’t have a crush on someone he didn’t even know. Crushes were for fourteen year olds anyways.

 

Two days later the same man called, again and greeted him before he could finish his regular line “Hello Dean. I received the bee coasters today. The eyes are painted.”

Dean smiled at his screen. “Yeah, I told you they were.”

“Yes, they are very cute, I may keep one for myself. I wanted it thank you again for putting up with my insistent questions.”

“That is my job. I get worse questions anyways.”

There was a small silence before the man stated, “I do have one more question.”

“Huh, yeah, sure.”

“Can I give you my phone number?”

Dean gripped the phone a bit tighter. “Why?”

“I would like to talk to you, I’m sorry if I misunderstood or-”

“No! No, of course not.” Dean was already swiping Charlie’s Lord of The Rings notebook from her desk, much to her dismay, and flipping to a blank page. “What’s your number?” He copied it down as the caller recited it. “You got a name?”

“Castiel. C-A-S-T-I-E-L.”

Dean blinked and jotted down ‘Cas’. “I’ll call you then.”

“Alright.” The line went dead.

Charlie was glowering from the cubicle separate when he hung up. “What was that?”

He showed her the page. “I think I just agreed to hook up with a customer?”


End file.
